I spend my whole life coveting other people and comparing myself to those I covet. What is there to gain from this behavior? Constant feelings of inadequacy notwithstanding, I only find myself digging deeper into a rut of lowered standards and shattered self-image.
Facing the twentysomething years as a bipolar is a challenge, always. It’s a challenge every morning to get out from under the security of the covers and face a world that doesn’t understand. A world that can’t quite comprehend that though a handicap or illness or disease or disorder isn’t visible, just because mental illness doesn’t require a walker or a wheelchair, there is still a demon we fight every.single.day.
How to show the world I’m a fighter?
How to show myself I’m a fighter?
I’m still in school. It’s definitely been a struggle. I spend my life conflicted. I’m a bipolar Gemini. On the cusp of Taurus. Every moment is one of conflict.
Proving that I can handle undergrad will give me the strength to tackle grad school. Even if it did take me longer to get there. Even if it does take me longer to get through it. The point is, the point has always been, that we all have our own struggles, and I know that mine isn’t the worst by far. But I’m winning this thing, and I know a lot of people with fewer demons who have done less than me.
So maybe comparisons aren’t all bad. There’s a happy medium between comparisons destroying ego and bolstering a competitive nature. It’s all about perspective.
